Stark Raving

I cried four times today. I’m trying to keep it at that number. Last Thursday, I cried upwards of 9 times. The crying I’m talking about isn’t me getting misty eyed, or a sniffle or two…but full fledged ugly crying. Along with the crying comes misguided and “out of left field” statements, biting off people’s heads, and more wrinkles in the past two months than in the three years of  law school..

In May, I had lunch with two girlfriends who graduated law school a year ahead of me…passed the bar…and are now ‘real’ attorneys. Both warned me my optimistic, happy, glass half full, smiley personality would be obliterated this summer…and slowly surface the weeks following the bar (or bar results). Sarah said she cried a lot, Erin said she was angry. Neither of them told me raving lunacy was possible…nor did they inform me that self-doubt, insecurity, and constant questioning of myself–my abilities–and my future was the theme for my summer.

My dad reminded me this morning (during my second meltdown of the day) I’m not alone. I’m not the only person taking the Bar Exam this summer, nor am I the only person who has ever had the worst summer of their lives while studying for the bar… I’m not the only crier (though I may be the ugliest crier)…I’m not the only person with self doubt…or the only person who has lived in lulu lemon and messy ponytails all summer.

With one week left… here’s to the ugly crying, my meltdowns over the little things, a few more wrinkles, yoga pants, prayers being said, memorization that sticks, and the end finally being in sight.


The Roller Skating Felon

I was minding my own business at the Courthouse. Patiently waiting at a window for some documents.

Young girl in Roller-skates, Bay St. Louis, Mi...

Young girl in Roller-skates, Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, 1921. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The man at the window next to me was also waiting, but not for documents, he was waiting for results. He was having a very loud conversation with one of the clerks. Essentially he was trying to convince her that he should get his money back (court costs and the like) because he was recently charged with a felony.  (Maybe he only would have asked for 1/2 back if he would have been charged with a misdemeanor).

I became mildly alarmed when I felt a tap on my shoulder, but felt so much better when it turned out my felonious counterpart.

Him: “How you doin”

Me: “I’m well, thank you.”

Very uncomfortable pause while I was being looked up and down…and up and down again

Him: “I’m gettin’ my bread back”

Me: “That’s nice…(eyes back to my phone)”

Him: “Do you roller skate?… you look like you roller skate…””

I’m assuming I had a look of confusion at this point

Me: “Uhhhhh.”

Him: “I’m gonna take you roller skatin’ Sunday.”

Me: “No you’re not…thank you though” And away from the window I power walked without any documents.

Now if I could just get a normal guy (preferably one I have a crush on, or a movie star, or a Prince) to ask me to go roller skating.


The Change Over

I’ve been blogging over at blogger throughout law school. I’ve made so many incredible blog friends, and enjoyed writing like myself instead of the way I have been trained to write. As I’m almost done with law school (May 17), and as Google is devolving or evolving in regards to blogger, I figured it was time for a much needed change. So, in a rash decision, I decided that word press was the way to go. (This is partially because one of my friends from college has a Word Press, and she is really funny, and a fabulous writer…so I thought maybe Word Press could help with the funny thing, as well as the good writer thing). With all of that being said, here’s a small introduction with a few obscure tidbits about me:

1) I’m obsessed with Pinterest even though it makes me feel inadequate in almost every realm of my life. For example: I pinned a bunch of workout inspiration the other night, but then all that pinning about working out made me too tired to actually workout.

2) I am terrified of not aging well. This is a very recent, and very real fear… What this fear stemmed from, I don’t know. It might be because 26 feels so old, or because I keep getting Groupons regarding aging, or because when I look at pictures of me prior to law school…I realize how much these past 3 years have aged me.

3) I just bought my first house. Suzy Homemaker I am not. I am having the most wonderful time shopping, and planning, and dreaming! Yet, the real life stuff like repairmen schedules, buying one thing after another (the not fun things), and bills, were not what I expected.

4) I work a handful of  random (but awesome) part-time jobs along with clerking. I’m happiest when I’m extremely busy. (Which also goes to my obsession with list making and my planner)

5) I can (and do) talk to anyone. I believe almost everyone I encounter is my friend, and I try to treat them as such. I seem to make friends or contacts in the most random places, which can lead to quite the amusing story, or a pretty awesome new best friend.

Thanks for stopping by my new blog, I really hope you’ll come back for more of my “jabbering.”